How normal is it nowadays to have no relationship?
She is confused and is looking for help. So she chat with a Mastermedium. She ended a relationship a few weeks ago. She’s been dating, but nothing comes out. She is not despondent, in fact, she learns so much from it, she says.
She comes to know more and more about herself, what she does want, what she doesn’t want, but it’s all so confusing. Around her, she sees everyone in a relationship and she does not succeed. Should I continue to do this, she wonders.
That is up to her, every person can do what they want. But listen to your feelings. What does that indicate, if you enjoy it, then keep doing it, why not. If you find it starts to disappoint you, don’t do it again. It is just like food. If you eat asparagus every day when the season is there, then you won’t have to eat them at any given time.
We can stop that in no time, it takes no effort, but when it comes to love, then man seems to have a lot more trouble drawing a line and stopping something. There is a reason for this. People want love and for that reason a relationship. Because if that relationship is there, there is love.
It is a stigma that love is only there when there is a relationship. Love is already there, you are love, but that is not the focus of attention. So we live with the stigma that love only comes when there is a relationship.
A relationship is seen as a part of life, it should be that way. We have convinced ourselves over time that this is how it should be. In the past you were looked at with the neck if you were relational. It must be her own fault that she cannot sustain a relationship. This was often publicly spoken aloud.
Nowadays, fortunately, that happens a lot less and we are slowly releasing the belief that a relationship is the most normal thing in the world. Looking back in time, we see that relationships were not as common as what we now think. Man is actually an animal, with an extra brain, but that doesn’t mean that we have to have a relationship because we have that brain. That is what man himself has ever thought of and we will come back to it slowly but surely.
The change that is going on is that having a relationship to have a good life is perhaps not as common as we have always thought. Requirements are also set for a relationship nowadays. In the past, there were fewer. You started to make something of it together and you knew that you stayed together until your death. That was a given. That that was imposed was ignored.
Now that we cherish our own freedom much more and also realize that we have to shape our own lives, the times with regard to a relationship are changing. This is still difficult, because we still see love on the one hand that another is going to give us this, while on the other we are busy shaping ourselves. This gives a discrepancy.
We are busy shaping the relationship with ourselves, we didn’t know that before, now we do and at the same time we stick to the old. The old thing that says, without relationship you are not happy.
Can you imagine that if you are still looking for yourself, a relationship is very difficult to maintain? Because half of you say, I need a relationship, then my life is complete, then there is love. The other half of you say, I am looking for myself, I can’t handle a relationship, because I am still insufficiently kind to myself.
We are all looking for a new form in which people love themselves and we haven’t done that for decades. For that reason we are going to find it increasingly normal that someone has no relationship. We are looking for a new normal.